Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Impassioned to Write

Mama Kat's writing assignment #4 "What inspired you? Write about a time you were impassioned to write."

When I was 29 years old, I didn't write except in a prayer journal and that only sporadically. I had just given birth to my third child. And held him as he breathed his last breath only 5 days later. He was born missing the left ventricle of his heart.

Reed was beautiful. Honestly, the most beautiful of my five babes. His head was perfectly shaped. His eyes, a deep navy. His hair so soft, light brown in color.

I woke one morning several weeks after he died with feelings on my heart that had to be written down. The only line I remember is "a life measured in days, not decades". There was much more. I have a copy somewhere. It was published in our state La Leche League newsletter as well as in New Beginnings Magazine, another LLL publication. (I was a LLL Leader at the time.) It's the only piece I've written that's ever been published in a publication that large. But that's not what makes it important or memorable to me.

17 comments:

Kitten said...

I am so sorry for what you experienced with your son.

Writing is therapy. I only started writing again last year as I had to sort through some deep issues going on in my life. I'm feeling a lot better, but I'm still healing. Writing has certainly helped.

Debbi said...

wow. I'm sorry you went through that. What a lucky Mom you are to have been given such a perfect being that the angels couldn't part with him for too long!

I write for therapy too. Glad that you did too.

Karen (KayKay) said...

I'm so sorry about your son.

Yes, often I'm driven to write when things are difficult or when they are especially wonderful. It's when things are normal that I find myself content, but uncreative. I suppose that I need to find a way to combine normalcy and creativity.

Amy said...

Thanks for sharing your story. It must have been a hard time in your life. I think that writing is the best thing to do. I have done it and then burned the letter and it made me feel a little bit better. Have a great day.

April said...

I couldn't say anything better than what Debbi said so I wont.

Melissa B. said...

When God closes one door, he opens another, huh? Lovely post!

septembermom said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. I hope that writing down all those painful feelings helped you heal a little bit. Moving and beautiful post. Thank you.

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Whatever else you do, he will always hold a special place in your heart. He was and he was yours. Still is.

Namine said...

Thank you for sharing

NateAndJakesMom said...

My heart aches for your loss - it seems you found a outlet in writing that I hope helped you deal with the pain.

Yaya said...

(((Hugs)))
I'm so sorry for the loss of your son.

Elftea said...

I am glad you did get your five days. I am very sorry you ONLY got five days. Thank you for sharing your life with us. You are luck that your feelings inspire your writings.

Jenners said...

I'm so so sorry to hear that you had to experience this kind of loss and grief. Writing in a time like what you described is a healthy way to deal with all the feelings that are almost too big to deal with in any other way. I'm glad that writing was there for you and thank you for sharing your story.

RamblingMother said...

What a difficult time, so sorry for your loss.

Visiting from SITS today.

"FINE"al thoughts... said...

I lost a baby when I was five months pregnant with her. The only thing that made me feel better was writing poems, or just journaling about my experience. Mostly because I felt like that would make her more 'real' for the people who never got to see her and also to help me remember her as well. Beautiful post. I want to read your article that was published.

Anonymous said...

Excuse, that I can not participate now in discussion - it is very occupied. But I will return - I will necessarily write that I think on this question.

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