One day while writing "morning pages" in my notebook, I started to notice certain words I used over and over again. Words like maybe, should, might, probably, need to. I made a list in the margin and marked it "banned words" These words appear most often in passages where I'm haggling over a to-do list, trying to motivate myself to accomplish something.
What I need to realize is that there is accomplishment just in the writing. In getting past all those things that tangle up my brain and try to force me out of the chair, try to force the pen out of my hand I am moving myself to a place of really writing. Describing people, scenes, memories. Committing to paper the stories that have been floating in my mind. That is accomplishment.
It doesn't matter if anyone reads it. It only matters that I've put it on paper. It doesn't matter if I write dozens of maybe's and shoulds. If those are bridges to the next line, the next thought, then they have served their purpose.
Still, those words nag at me because they are my own lack of commitment pouring out on the page. Instead of will, doing and work I write probably. Fear of committing to see the work through. I should address that fear.